Here are some rules that were born in the process of me discovering this world, the Game and myself.
These rules really helped me a lot and continue doing it.

I will post them one by one and may be later create one joined post with all of them.

I remind myself of these rules every single day.

They help me to tune into right vibe.

The same happens when I listen to Eckhart Tolle or when I read Tyler’s blog.

Here they come:

Rule 1: Cards are being given every day anew.

Whatever happened yesterday or any other day – its all gone. Forever.

New day is here. Yesterday is a shadow, a history, a mist…

Its gone.

The table is clean and empty.

You woke up this morning and your ethernal Self opened your eyes and looked at the world.

As if it’s a first time.. First look…

Did you ever catch yourself thinking realizing that one part of you actually never changed since the first moment you can remember yourself?

Its that part that just looks at the world without judgement without talking… just looks at the world and flows… beyond time…

Cards are being given every day anew…

Everything that happened before that moment is just a lesson.

You learned it. You will not repeat the mistake twice.

Let go of emotional connection to the past. Past is gone. Let it go.

Every morning you start a new life.

Past does not equal the future. Its not equal today either.

After you realize it you will receive a powerful source of energy and persistence.

The one who gets up and keeps going every single day – he will get to his goal.

He receives every day a new life and lives it to the fullest.

Cards are being given every day anew...

Keep going

DJKC

Personal Development: goal or means to an end?

It’s such a cool process, such a noble thing we are doing here…really…
We are improving our personality, developing our character and basically re-engineering ourselves.

Fortunately we have the best technology available. Thanks to the internet, forums, lairs, books, seminars and all that endless stream of information.

Like with any technology it’s easy to loose ourselves in a stream of info and keep looking for the next “magic word”, “magic pill”, “magic solution” that will help ME to change.

Others were not really “mine”.

May be the next will be…

Hey, it’s all already there. Go apply.

Come back when you have a mouthful of field experience.

Then dig some more info. Talk to guys who KNOW THE GAME.

And dive back into action.

There is NO SECRET to success.

Its just work. Being relentless.

So after doing all those efforts, attending seminars and using techniques you start discovering the value of what’s called “the inner game”.

Sooner or later you begin making changes not only in what you think is possible for you but also you initiate the process of reviewing WHO you actually are.

You climb high and start looking at the top of the mountain: Your Identity. The sacred, the one and only. You tweak this, you replace that and it feels better.

More work – feels good again.

Time passes you make more and more internal changes. You start realizing that this is an ongoing process and there are some good and fruitful consequences to it.

And then if and when you are prepared to be brutally honest with yourself an interesting revelation will come to you and knock on the front door.

Simple one. Dare to open it?

Ok, it sounds like this: “I am doing all that identity change work, I learn to be unreactive, I become more social, I improve my confidence, I read all that great advice and I know I am a 10, I am HIGHER VALUE guy…With all that heavy artillery combined I enter the field and I fire all that ammo… With one thought in fact: now I have changed, I KNOW I am higher value, I know I am a 10, I know I should not react at all… I am SUCH COOL GUY. … so I really hope that…I WILL GET HER APPROVAL NOW!”

Stop for a second and think about it.

Think REAL DEEP AND REAL HARD.

Is it not this thought that keeps you reading and learning?

You are prepared to become a better man, to realize your intrinsic worth and superior value.

Yeah… So girls will start TO REACT TO YOU POSITIVELY as a result.

This is the last (or one of the last) EGO bastion on your way to real deep and irreversible positive personal change.

Another trap here obviously is that you might truly start believing that YOU ARE THE SHIT and they are all stupid bitches that just can’t see it.

Your Game still might not even exist. But You are going to be very proud… and very bitter then.

Say hello to your EGO again here.

It can trap you on both sides. Be aware.

Is that an unavoidable part of the path? I would say: Yes, it is.

Realize WHY you are doing what you doing. You see, all that stuff you internalize and bring out to the world might still miss that little last tweak.

And it mostly does.

Whom are you doing it for?

There is no shame in admitting that initially you were doing all that inner change work just to please THEM, to get THEIR attention and approval. It’s totally cool and ok.

Next piece will fall into its place when you will realize that actually all that change you are doing is FOR YOU and for you ONLY.

You become a better man FOR YOURSELF. Not for anyone else.

Your change is deeply personal.

You most probably will lose most of your social circle on the way and it’s totally ok too.

Some say it’s a pity. Look at it this way: your REAL friends will still love you and respect your choices. Like you respect theirs.

If you think about it longer you will realize that 90% of your social circle changes every 10-15 years ANYWAY. Think how it looked like even 5 years ago.

It’s pretty much different now, isn’t it?

It’s just an indication of your growth and development, nothing else.

If you go back to primary school and tell a child that his social circle might be totally different in 10 years he will be pretty surprised. As an adult you understand that it’s very logical and healthy process.

Again, you become a better man for you and not for anybody else.

You become unreactive just for yourself, you become more social and you start to ONLY GIVE VALUE just for yourself too.

You sincerely disconnect from what others think of it and how they react to you.

And at the same time you KEEP WORKING on your GAME. Keep learning and applying it and re-accessing what you do.

Here it comes: Desire without Attachment.

You KNOW that you are 10; you don’t care of what others think of you. You know – you are a worthy human being.

How do you know that?

Because your conscience, your mind and soul all tell you that in unison. You have what Johnny Soporno calls a Reasoned Confidence.

It’s when all parts of you tell you as one: “You are totally right doing what you do. It’s good for you and its good for others. Go do it now.” Simple. Like all genuius.

You see what starts to happen? Your determination to become better in the Game is still there, you admit to yourself that even if you are a perfect and totally cool person – there is still some work to be done in that area of your life.

Since you have no doubts any more about WHO you are - you know for sure that you are doing the right thing and world only benefits from your progress and from your actions.

Your progress will become much faster and easier. And not only in the area of male-female interactions.

It will charge forward in all areas of your life. Because you already know the outcome.

You have changed from the person who changes himself only in order to get something from others into the person who positively changes his identity and gives value to the world.

You add to the world’s happiness AND you keep learning the Game on the way.

Release yourself.

DJKC

Honesty.

Wikipedia: “Honesty is the human quality of communicating and acting truthfully related to truth as a value. This includes listening, and any action in the human repertoire — as well as speaking. Superficially, honesty means simply stating facts and views as best one truly believes them to be. It includes both honesty to others, and to oneself (self-deception) and about one's own motives and inner reality. Honesty, at times, has the ability to cause misfortune to the person who displayed it…”

Student monologue: “What the f***? I read about being congruent and honest and I went out and I was congruent and honest and she rejected me. What should I do now? It’s all probably just another thing that does not work so I better go and tell girls what I THINK THEY want to hear from me and everything will be GOOD. They will accept me. I will get under the radars. They are not nice to me anyway so this way of behaving will take at least this load off my shoulders.”

Who was not struggling with this thought? Well, if one went out and developed himself and became more integral human being on the way AND spoke/heard some GOOD people talk then this thought MOST DEFINETELY crossed his mind more than once.

What is the way to take here?

Being honest and telling NO LIES whatsoever or create a “person of high value” and present it to her?

Interesting dilemma per se because if you think about it really well it means that you are already pretty far on your path of personal growth and development.

You might not have thought about this “issue” before.

I did not. For quite a long time.

Just did my best to score.

Many people do that their whole life: they go out and present a “persona” which THEY THINK is ATTRACTIVE for opposite sex. Both men and women do it.

It’s equally usual for both sexes.

So here goes the guy who meets the girl and tells her all that stuff about his interesting job, good career perspective (mind, he might not even have a job!) but for the sake of a chance of getting laid that night he might create it.

He flashes some cash, buys her drinks and guess what? It works.

No, he might not get laid but she agrees to meet him on another day.

Because Cosmopolitan magazine advised her to act in this particular way.

Don’t be “easy”.

Give your number.

Test him.

Otherwise she is considered to be a “slut” in the eyes of her friends and the society at large.

Go watch Johnny Soporno on this. His stuff is brilliant.

So let’s take a look at first scenario when they go to bed immediately and he has reached his “goal”.

Next morning he is gone with his little persona in his pocket – uncovered lie.

But let’s say they like each other. Then what?

It’s hard for him (or her – if she made something up) – to clear it up and to say “hey, I just BS’d you yesterday. I am simply this and that. And not all that beautiful story I told you yesterday."

Hardly anyone will do that.

It’s easier in such a case to construct another lie and then go on guarding all that complicated constructions and watching your step every time you talk on some subjects.

How do I know all that? I have been there, guys.

Anyway, let’s take a look at another scenario when she gives him her number and agrees to meet again.

During his next few dates he masterfully plays into that role that he thinks she might like and may be she plays some other role that she thinks will have most success in keeping him (if she is looking for an long term partner at that time).

2-3 dates pass.

Including the first one in a nice restaurant with some very awkward pauses to chew the food.

Just think how dumb is this whole concept of a romantic dinner of two people who hardly know each other and both are afraid to make a mistake or to cut the food in a wrong way and after all they have to face each other – two strangers – for an hour or so…

This is what modern society endorses invisibly as a model of “first meeting”.

Just don’t do it.

Stop. Forget about it.

The best place for the first date is your is a quiet lounge. The second best is your bedroom.

Keep all that nice dinner stuff for AFTER SEX.

If ever. Period.

So lets say our guy and his girl finally have sex.

She kept him hungry for long enough so he is committed now.

So says Cosmo and so she thinks. What does he think?

He might think “well, actually it was not really worth it but I invested so much energy so I better stay with her”.

So they start “seeing each other” and soon they get into an exclusive relationship.

Something else happens then or even before that.

After a short while she realizes that he IS NOT the guy that he pictured himself to be.

His self-control weakens and his made up coolness is not there any more.

BUT THEY BOTH INVESTED SO MUCH INTO THIS ALREADY.

It’s hard to pull out of the deal when you invested so much into it.

So their relationship keeps going for a while but does it REALLY satisfy both of them?
In the long run – NO.

Chances are big that if they get married – they will soon get divorced and blame it off course on some “external” things.

Their friends will say “Well, nowadays its SOOO common.” shrug and go on with their own similar stories.

So where does it start?

It starts at the moment you open your mouth when you first see her.

Honesty is the only solution and your greatest asset in playing this game.

And in finding the RUIGHT kind of woman for you. Or a FEW right ones.

You grow towards honesty slowly but steadily. Like a seed goes through the ground and finally sees the sun.

You start feeling some weird uncomfortable feeling when you tell the story which you borrowed from the internet “to increase your value”.

What a NATURAL way to increase your value?

To HAVE A LIFE. To have it for REAL.

How? Go build it if you don’t have it.

You don’t have to be a movie producer to be able to have an exciting lifestyle.

You can be passionate about painting and make an amazing story about it.

My buddy Sunday59 paints those totally unearthly landscapes at home. He's got canvas and brushes in the middle of his living room.

He loves poetry and reads it to girls.

Blows their mind away.

Totally.

First thing he asks her if she can paint and loves poetry.

Why? Because he wants someone who will share his passion. Even in a 1 min conversation. It enriches their lives.

I bring chicks home and let them dance while I dj.

I love doing it.

I don’t care if I may loose a good moment to escalate.

I share something at that moment.

It’s a total honesty about who you are or what you do. About what you prefer in life and what you dislike.

Note here: NOT in a stupid way, guys.

Do not take it and go ruin conversations by telling them you want harem and you are spending your nights in clubs picking other girls up.

You can let them know things just by saying: “Well, I prefer to stay single right now”.

She will be totally cool with that. It might even increase your value because she is not looking for a relationship either.

Better that then trying to figure out first if she is looking for a boyfriend or even worse - ASSUMING that in advance.

What she is looking for is not of your business. Your own world and strength of your own reality – that’s the only thing that you should care of.

And remember, it’s all subtle.

Girls read much more into little hints then any most sensitive guy does. If you are a player, don’t worry, she will figure it out.

And she will respect you for letting her know it in a subtle way. If she ever asks you directly.

And she will despise for trying to maneuver and create some “story”. It IS VISIBLE when you are thinking of a good answer.

Really. She can see it.

So get out there and start being honest. Not dumb-ass-honest. But intelligent-integral-funny honest.

That’s the best thing you can do for yourself and for those you meet.

Good luck on your journey.

DJKC

The Bomb: Understanding Logical Levels vs Sh!t in Your Head.

Here is a very important concept. One of a few crucial ones that is EXTREMELY USEFUL to know and TO APPLY. Like everything on this site it’s meant for those who are serious about their personal transformation.

At the moment you realize that the Matrix loaded your brain with tons of crap - just to make you socially useful and obedient sheep - you are very willing to clean it up.

You feel hurt because the whole system was lying to you and kept you blind. First you want revenge. Later you realize that there is no-one to blame but yourself and you want to become Your Own Master.

You go look for instruments that can help you do that.

Here is a concept that can assist you GREATLY in becoming one.

It will bring your understanding of reality, people in it and your own Self on a new level.

Sounds good, doesn’t it? And it really delivers the promised goods.

It’s known as the NLP Logical Levels (also known as the Logical Levels of Change and the Logical Levels of Thinking).

The word NLP (Neuro linguistic Programming) might call for different reactions among the readers. I am not going to protect or to attack it here. I just say that understanding Levels is a very powerful weapon so let’s adopt it without having much emotion towards its origin.

Are there any to whom it does not sound so simple? “..Neuro? Ohhhh…All those complicated words…”

Well, the choice is as usually all yours.

You can either read this article carefully and apply it or you can consider it “Just toooo-tooo diffucuuuult” and keep living your life like you used to.

One thing to remember though: anyone but you will be then in charge of your Mind.

And as we know by now the key to the Gate of Your Personal Victory is in this question: who is in charge of your mind?

We all were brought up by a whole culture or even few cultures that filled our head with extremely useful information.

Sometimes useful. Sometimes not that useful. Sometimes totally useless.

Like a dogshit on a sidewalk.

Let me dare to guess that there are tons of dogshit filling an average head of an average person.

Unless he is an enlightened individual and was brought up in Tibet or something t like that.

For those who did not grow up among monks and mediations – well, MTV took good care of things. Don’t leave the house. Quick and easy. Here. Magic Pill. Buy. Spend. All for 19.95$. Special offer. This week only…

Anyway, back to the subject.

Understanding Logical Levels is very useful for assisting with a process of Change from an individual, social or organization point of view.

To make it simple and clear lets take a look at this familiar example:

One day guy wakes up and says to himself “My personal life is not good at all. I am going to change it. I am going to have a beautiful girlfriend ASAP.”

So, what’s the first thing he does? He goes to a bar or a club on Friday night.

He enters the bar and looks around. Lost of things are going on.

This is the very first level. Its called Environment.

Everything that surrounds us is our Environment.

That’s what we are reacting to. It can be our work environment, club environment, and home environment…whatever.

Somewhere deep inside this guy is hoping that if he only will show up at the right bar at the right time then somehow that beautiful girl will find him and even start a conversation with him.

Well, he realizes pretty soon that it just DOES NOT HAPPEN.

So after a few drinks he gets enough courage and attempts to start a chat with an attractive girl.

This is the second level. The level of Action.

He is in the environment called “the club” and he undertakes Action called “the approach”.

For the sake of this example lets say that he was not too successful and he goes home alone that night.

After a couple of weeks of going out our guy (and he is a smart guy) starts to notice that there are some guys in a club that are having quite some success with approaching girls.

By now he realized that there is something in his behavior that girls seem to dislike somehow.

So, the next logical level, the third one is Behavior.

He sees some of the guys making out with girls and some even take girls home. Every time he sees it and its mostly the same guys. He discovers so called “naturals”.

Well, he thinks, probably their Behavior is what gets them girls.

He makes friends with a couple of them and asks a few questions. One says “just be yourself”. That does not bring our hero very far since he is “being himself” his whole life and its exactly “being himself” that brought him into this whole situation.

Another “natural” gives him a better advice:“You have to be funny, you have to be relaxed, and you have to learn to become charming.”

It’s a good begin so our guy discovers that in order to have a nice girlfriend he has to learn some skills.

This forth level is called the level of Capabilities.

He learns some funny stories, goes to improvisation workshop and pretty soon he can carry out some pretty long conversations that make girls laugh and even give him some phone numbers.

Well right here he starts to see the positive results of his previous actions and his beliefs about what he can do start to change.

Beliefs are the next, the fifth logical level.

His success gets bigger and bigger.

It starts to be a kind of upward spiral where his successes from the past just feed his confidence. He makes other friends, he goes out to cooler places, and he wears different cloths.

After a few years of living this life he finds a picture of himself. There he is just before he started his journey. Nerdy glasses, polo shirt with his company logo on it, pleasing smile.

He can not recognize himself.

Was it really him?

He can not even identify himself with that person on the picture.

He remembers some old thoughts and ideas about himself that he held at that time and they all are SOOO weird and distant.

They do not belong to him anymore. They belong to that old identity.

So, Identity is the next, the sixths logical level.

Our guy is a totally different person now.

Did you ever think of what it REALLY means when someone says that he or she is totally other person now?

It means that their identity, the way they view themselves has changed.

There is only one level left above Identity.

The sevenths and the highest logical level is called Spirituality.

If our hero chooses to adopt a Buddhist point of view on the world and follow it that would happen on this level.

Not many people ever go there.

Spirituality requires an answer on the most important question of existence: What am I part of?

What is leading me spiritually? What’s my vision of this universe and of the whole existence?

You see, its tough stuff. For big and strong boys and girls.

The rest of people just take whatever society and parents fed them.

That’s how the whole logical level pyramid looks like:

You probably understand by now that each higher level determines completely what happens on all the levels below.

Pay attention to the fact that changes on the lower levels require less effort to make than changes on higher levels. But the results are also less impacting.

If our example guy would go to an NLP master or hypnotherapist like Neil Struss (aka Style) did in his famous book “The Game” then he would get new strong identity installed.

Style went to Steve P who is one of the best in this field.

Steve P learned his trade from many different sources including Indian shamans and so he might have even connected Style with his Higher Self and Universal sources of energy and that in turn would dramatically change Style’s results infield and in life in general.

Because changes on the level of Spirituality and Identity are the most powerful ones and automatically bring incredible changes in Beliefs.

Beliefs in turn increase Capabilities which in turn inspire great Actions. And this is in fact exactly what happened to Style.

He got two months of hypnotherapy and NLP with two best masters and walked away as a really empowered person.

His Identity had changed completely.

Go read The Game for details.

So how to use all the above? Simple.

Internalize the structure.

Realize that everything you do or any problem you have can be seen from the Logical Levels point of view.

Determine where it belongs to.

Is it on Capabilities level? Is it your beliefs that keep you away from achieving your goal?

Notice that Ego is a construction protecting your Identity. So whenever Ego is involved you can be sure that the real issue lies with the way you are seeing yourself.

Remember that your Identity is fluid and in constant development.

Remember the expression “I could never recognize myself from that time” expression.

You can change. There is no “Oh, that’s just the way I am” thing.

Not if you REALLY want to change.

You can create yourself as a sculptor creates a work of art.

And pay a visit to Spirituality level from time to time. Experiment with different belief systems.

Try to find one that will resonate the most with your heart.

Discard what society or any other sources told you if you do not feel any REAL emotional heart connection with it.

Remember that ideally you should have an alignment on all levels.

It means you walk your talk.

If you want to have 3 girlfriends at the same time (environment) and to be happy and fulfilled and honest with yourself then make sure that you are practicing religion or spiritual belief that allows you to do that.

But better first let your heart to find a spiritual belief or religion and then align your life with it.

This approach from top to button works sooooo much better….

Good luck on your journey.

DJKC

Knowledge Spread vs. Willpower

Interesting question is being asked by some serious players I know.

It’s being asked already for a while and I would like to give a personal opinion answer on it. Like you see sometimes in the movies: “This film is not reflecting an official point of view of the X government. Its strictly personal opinion”.

So, first, whets the question? Here it is: “With all this seduction-related knowledge spread through the internet, books, seminars, workshops, etc – the knowledge which is sacred gotten by a few by blood sweat and tears – get into everyone’s hands and so all the efforts are for nothing. ‘cause everyone will be able to pickup models after knowing how – to stuff.

So all the efforts to learn are also in vain because everyone knows it and does it. Even worse: chicks know it too. So they can easily spot the one who tries to use the knowledge. Endless crash&burn as a result. Is all this stuff not dangerous and threatening to those who want to learn the game?”

Here is my answer: I am not worried about it even for a split sec.

Why? Because: think about it. Think really hard.

First: how many people are able to admit to themselves that they actually SUCK in this area of life?

Very-very few.

The vast majority is reading or watching this stuff whenever it comes up on TV or internet article or a seminar with their ego full blown and alert:

"Me? NOOOOOOOO! I am a fucking pimp. Well, I don’t have a girlfriend or I have that bitchy little drama queen as a girlfriend but its only because I am busy with other IMPORTANT things in my life right now.

I am such a pimp that when I REALLY will have time and when I want it – I will just come out and get supermodel for myself in no time..."

To confront ego you need to have a very strong motivation. How many people you know that have a super strong motivation? Particularly in something that society at large is frowning upon?

Second: social programming kicks in.

It says that you only have a cool girlfriend when you are successful in your job/study/career.

When you are a good sheep.

Then nice girl will appear in your life as a bonus.

Inevitably as a salary rise.

One beautiful evening… oh, yeah, and don’t forget to wear that new Gucci cologne and those D&G sunglasses.

Otherwise she might not recognize you.

And keep drinking Heineken beer ‘because all those chicks from their TV ad choose guys who do…

Here I have to disappoint you. No fucking thing will happen.

None. Whatsoever.

The society programming road ends at your computer monitor watching internet porn.

And many people are going to live very unsatisfied lives just because they believe in what the Matrix has to say.

And were too comfortable to go find truth for them. Go read my article "The Matrix. Open Your Eyes" to find out more about the power of society programming.

Anyway, I am not writing this to cheer them up.

I am writing this to tell us (REAL PLAYERS) that there is NO DANGER in that knowledge spread. None. Whatsoever.

Sо, my small tribe, lets look little further: out of hundred people who started on this journey – how many will get their ass away from the monitor and get on he street?

Let’s be optimistic and say 75%.

How many will really approach?

How many from those who approach will survive the pain of hard rejections which are inevitable? Not one or two but HUNDREDS of rejections.

Rejection by a supermodel does not hurt that bad when you look and behave like a computer nerd and you know she is out of your league but how about ugly and fat war pigs (Mystery term).

Ladies, please, here no offense is meant. I know perfectly well that it’s all about heart and personality.

No pain intended. They will all discover it.

Let them first go for those shiny vain bitches. Then they will learn the lesson and probably come back to you. No worries. Just visit a fitness club once in a while.J

So, lets go on: now after all those rejections – how many of those left are ready to take a hard look at themselves and to realize that ITS THEM WHO CAUSED THE REJECDTIONS.

Girls had for the biggest part nothing to do with that. This realization is a BIGGY. And how many of those who WILL realize it – will actually go and change those things in themselves?

You see where I am going with this?

What a tiny little microscopic percent of those who had an access to the Knowledge is left by now?

What did the others do with that knowledge? The same what they did with the most of knowledge that comes their way – they entertained themselves with it for a few days/ months and then throw it away.

Along with the first edition of playstation and their cassette player.

Now, about chicks reading into all those pickup tactics and knowing that you are a player – I am totally cool with that too.

You cant use in a 1000th time an opinion opener of who lies more or some other stuff you got from the net. Someone created this opener and it played its role and now its time to make up your own. It’s all crunches anyway.

Go improvise.

Or go sit home in your little cozy comfort zone and blame the rest of the world for using the same opener.

It’s all about your coolness and your general vibe anyway. That will bring you chicks. Nothing else. Plus well developed social skills. That’s it. The whole package.

Those who developed this stuff you are using now or reading about – paid for it with their time, humiliation, tears, hundreds of nights in clubs and streets.

They got together a valuable recourse which can save some time and effort. But not that much that you can call it a magic pill.

There are plenty of descriptions of how to drive a Formula 1 car on the internet.

Can you drive one well after reading it? Do you know anyone who can?

Or does it require tons of experience, courage and will power – to learn to drive such a beast? By now you know the answer.

Tyler Durden told me that 95% of people who come to his seduction seminars and workshops will quit within a year.

My own experience indicated even higher percentage.

It’s never crowded on an extra mile. Many will start running marathon – very few will ever cross the finish line.

So if you are still there and I mean going out and implementing stuff you learned – then you belong to a selected club.

A club of a few. Welcome.

DJKC

Where to Begin?

“Awareness itself creates momentum”. Steven Covey

It seems like many people are REALLY confused about where to begin their improvement.

Its like: “Yeah, my life is quite ok in general…but this thing with women … I don’t know…it kind of sucks… I did my study well, my salary is rising I should get some better chick, I mean I do all like I was told… but it just somehow does not happen…”

Well, here is the news: its a BIG TIME LIE.

It will never “just happen” to you.

Society programming has fucked you up.

As it did with 99.99999% of population.

How about this message: “Be a good sheep and things you deserve will come to you“.

Nope, not with women, buddy. To find out in detail about social programming, the Matrix and how all that work in our modern society read my previous article The Matrix (Part1 & 2).

So lets assume that now you identified your blind spot.

You want a better girlfriend. Or you just wantto date many women. Or you want to become a serial polygamist.

Its all entirely up to you and you are totally entitled to that.

Next the question comes: where to begin?

You might go Google some dating related words and get literally thousands of websites. And they all promise "instant cure". Or a "unique-3 days-seminar-workshop cure". Or "buy-my-e-book cure".

They ALL have testimonials and all those testimonials are there to tell you: yes, this is The Magic Pill. Stop and shop by us. Do not go further.

So after 2 or 3 of such sites you get confused and start asking around and checking some forums. After a while you might land on a company name that gives supposedly good seminars/workshops …and your friend’s friend took it…and it was ok.

So you go pay a couple of thousands of dollars just to find out that is was…well...it was... entertaining… but not really your thing.

This is the way it goes with lots of people.

Here I want to give you a way that I think is smart and fool proof enough.

After years of being in field (read: going out and interacting with tons of women in all kind of social environments), dating many of them, giving workshops and seminars on the subject, reading everything under the sun I think this might help you in finding your own path.

So here it is: how do you begin.

First step: make a decision to act.

Make a decision to keep going even when the path will become difficult. I take it as a given that you decided to really go for it.

To do whatever it takes to get some positive changes done.

The general rule is that the more efforts you put in something the better results you get. It sounds really simple but if you put mediocre effort in something you will get mediocre result. Unless you happened to be extremely gifted in that particular area.

But even for the most gifted people big success means 5%talent and 95% persistence and work.

Here is the question for you to answer to YOURSELF: how hard do you want it?

Second step: decide what you want to achieve in this area of your life.

Your goal may change once you will get to know yourself better. That’s totally fine.

I was very perfectionistic and set very high goals for myself from the very beginning. My goals have changed few times since then. Every time to become even bigger.

What seemed to me to be huge goal initially - became quite ordinary after a couple of years and I realized that I can go further and do bigger things.

Again, its very personal.

For some people just leaving their house and entering a club is already a huge victory.

I know someone who took a year just to overcome major social anxiety. He was simply terrified to enter a disco or a crowded bar. Leave alone to talk to someone there.

He is one of the best guys I know who now is really good with women and dating. And he feels totally at home in any club. But it took him a year first just to be able NOT to run away.

So you see it’s personal. Its BIG if its big FOR YOU.

Step three is to identify where you are right now.

Assess your position, your recourses, your strengths and weaknesses.

You do not know them all, there are plenty of blind spots and ego-protected constructions but don’t worry about it too much right now.

Just do what you can. Check a few different personal development programs.

Personally I found Tony Robbins’ and Brian Tracy’ materials to be very helpful in doing it.

Get them and follow them meticulously.

That means putting aside all other things and really listening to what these guys have to say, doing the exercises, taking a notebook and making notes. Put 1 hour a day into it. Do it for 21 day (this is how long some of Tony Robbins programs are – you do it like 1 cd per day for 21 day).

This will create a positive momentum in your life.

After a month or so and may be even after a week or two you will have a raw assessment of where you stand and what your stronger/weaker sides are.

Come back to the same program after 9-10 months and do it again.

It will give you a very good idea of where you are heading.

The general rule here is again to trust your heart and find one program that FEELS good doing and then stick with it. Take your time; spend a week or two looking for one.

If you can’t find one that you really like – just start somewhere. Do not worry about finding the right one too much.

Just start somewhere.

Once you made an assessment of yourself you will see much better where you stand right now.

Step four is to look for a right mentor to help you.

What I mean here by mentor: it can be a person or a company. Or both.

Lets look at a person first.

It can be someone you know. It can be someone you don’t know.

When I started out I went to people I knew who were good with women and started to ask them questions.

Mostly if those people are naturals (people who just HAPPENED to have a gift of being good with women) you will most probably hear something like: oh, just be yourself and its going to be all right.

That’s the advice you mostly will get from those naturals.

Very frustrating because just as they were “themselves” their whole life with great results in this area – you also were “yourself” with NO or very few results.

Don’t be discouraged by their answer. Go hang out with them. See how they behave, what they do. Do not attach too much meaning to it.

Those guys might give you some valuable insights. And they might as well not give any and only make you more confused.

You will tend to behave as they behave and to say what they say.

But you might not get results they get.

And it’s totally cool too.

See, the point here is that you are moving out of your comfort zone, trying different behavior patterns.

Your mind starts to concentrate on things you previously never thought of.

It starts to search for clues and insights.

You become a social scientist of a sort. Its fun.

And as we all know whatever you concentrate your attention at in your life – starts to grow and increase.

Go with as many different people as you can find.

Take anything they have to offer and be grateful for it.

Important note: try to offer then something of value first. From helping to build their website (if you are any good at it) to buying them a dinner/beer/VIP ticket to the coolest party/whatever…

You can go two ways here: first build a good connection, help them with something and then to ask for assistance or just walk up and ask. It’s up to you.

Personally I preferred to do it right away.

I found that the coolest guys live in a world of abundance and are pretty much willing to help if you are direct, honest and humble.

And those who look strange at you and say some nonsense – its ok too.

Don’t take it personally, just go on.

You will also see how your ego will behave.

It’s not as easy as it sounds – just walk up to a stranger or even someone you know and say something along the lines: “Hey man, I noticed you are really good with women. I feel like I ‘m a bit behind… could you give me some tips? Let me buy you a drink…”

The knowledge of YOURSELF you get from this process of looking for a mentor is priceless.

Lets look at the possibility of finding a company that may help you.

A company that gives seminars or workshops or both.

There are SOOO many of them.

And they all claim to be The One and Only.

And there are very few who will really help.

You should look for one that really resonates with your understanding of the world, your beliefs and values.

How you do that?

You will have to do some research of your own. May be get their materials somehow and see what they teach on their seminars. May be get their e-books and learn a few basic ideas.

Don’t trust any testimonials ‘because they all say the same thing.

Pay attention to the instructor-student ratio.

Biggest players on the market have most of the time 4-5 and more students per one instructor (sometimes 10+).

It’s virtually impossible to give any value to the student with such a ratio.

You going to wander around in a club totally on your own or watch a couple of approaches that instructor does.

Its good to see stuff done by others but the most important part (what you are actually paying for) is that you have to do it yourself afterwards.

And there will be no-one watching and correcting you since the instructor has 8-9 other guys to observe.

When I take students out into the field I take 1 person with 2 instructors.

Most other times its 1 coach – 1 student.

Its 100% personal attention and giving value.

We also take 2 students with 2 instructors particularly when going to teach them club game.

That’s the lowest and the best ratio.

It’s the highest result and attention rate.

And it’s really personal. That’s what I love about it.

Giving the most personal attention possible and seeing results right before my eyes.

If you want to learn much more than a bunch of tricks to manipulate others into believing that you are someone esle...

If you want really serious results that require some good inner effort...

If you want to undergo an inner shift...

If you want to really FEEL that you are BECOMING GOOD...

If you want that inner change and that vibe that so called “naturals” possess – then you may come to us.

Whatever you are going to choose – let your heart guide you on your way.

Following the steps I outlined above will get you moving in a right direction.

Good luck on your journey!

DJKC