The World is Your Mirror.

I want to discuss this topic today ‘cause as inevitably as all the way were leading to Rome at ancient times – now all the ways are leading to personal development.

If you are smart you will get there.

My metaphor for spiritual development is like this: imagine that there is that huge table in front of you. Let’s say you are sick and tired of being not so good with women (like I was). So that little corner of your table is all dirty and messy. So you decide to get better i.e. to clean it up.

And after a while of looking at it, trying to sort out the mess and using few different cleaning liquids you discover (like I did) that there is actually that whole huge table (your IDENTITY, beliefs and values) and its all messed up and to start doing better on that little corner you have to pour water all over that huge space and clean it all up.

It’s all interconnected.

Its all one whole.

And when finally the entire surface will be clean and clear – then that little corner of your table will become also inevitably clear and totally in order. You pour so much water on the whole surface that it covers all corners automatically.

And that huge space consists of something called integral personal development.

So again, if you are smart – you will have to handle the whole thing.

You will have to start on the personal development path and this will enrich your life BIG TIME.

You will start feeling hungry for that knowledge and something will awaken inside you. Something that was sleeping deep inside you all those years and only accidentally and vaguely reminded you of its existence.

Sometimes… Snapshot of quiet beach and sea...

View of sunset... Silence in the forest...

Light falling through the curtains on quiet Sunday morning…

I had it when I was 14 and used to come to school very early on cold winter mornings. At that time of the day there where only 2 security guards in that whole huge building. All those noises of the day where an hour away and school was warm, dark, silent and friendly...

Before the crowd will rush in and scare the silence away.

I used to walk then through the building feeling something in my soul bigger than me, bigger than I could conceive at that time. I did not know what it was but I liked to feel that mysterious piece.

I did not know what to do with it then.

Sometimes you might feel something in you that you can’t even label. Resist that mind’s wish to label it. Just feel it and let it be there. It will find a way to come out and make frieds with you one day…

So here it comes: the world is your mirror.

It’s a sum total of your thoughts and intentions about the reality.

All that you possess...

All that you have coming to you...

All that surrounds you...

It’s all YOUR MIRROR.

Its all YOU.

How girls react to you is a sum total of what you think of yourself and what you learned about what you may and may not do.

You most probably don’t even remember WHEN, HOW and WHO taught you this stuff. But its all there. Running your life.

But there is an EXTRA feature to the mirror: a delay.

Even in the normal mirror we see our image with a tiny delay.

Obviously the light needs some time to reach out eye so we receive the information which is already a tiny bit old.

Our thoughts and intentions take time to manifest so in our lives the delay can be sometimes pretty long: weeks, months, years.

Whatever your thoughts are about yourself and others, whatever your ideas are about this world and in fact anything that goes through your head – it all comes to life. If you have conflicting thoughts they will take time to manifest.

If there is no inner conflict then it will happen almost immediately. Like you might remember while doing something simple like washing dishes in the kitchen you might think “this plate is standing on the edge, it might fall and break” and it happened almost immediately.

Unconscious mind plays a crucial role here. Let’s use a computer game analogy here.

Unconscious will play then a role of an enormous database. A huge database of some computer game that keeps all the game physics, character traits and behavior patterns of all participants’ plus all avatar features, etc.

Consciousness plays the role of a programmer who can can use his conscious mind as a programming tool to change the reality around him.

And here is good news: by DELIBERATELY AND CONSCIOUSLY using your mind you can influence the rest of this reality.

It’s not easy but it definitely worth the effort.

Some typical objection here might be: “I am always nice to those girls, I buy them drinks and listen to their problems… Why don’t they see me as a sexworthy man?” or “Well, I have always been very positive and excited about other people and the world in general… I tried to help… I never had any prejudices but people behaved so badly towards me... They betrayed my trust, they stole my money, badmouthed me, etc. How all that can be possible if the world is my mirror? Everyone should be nice to me because I AM nice and open and willing to help, right?”

The answer here is NO. Thinking this way equals to giving your power away to the outside world. What one has then is a passive idealism. One came out from the ideal picture. One just hoped that is SO.

There was no creative effort in it.

It was just putting the label on something and hoping that it will behave accordingly. It’s not how it works.

This game works on other principles.

It’s a Spiritual Warrior Principle. It means that if you want something in your life – you take control of your conscious mind and direct it towards creating what you want. And you do so by keeping your thoughts on it, on keeping an INTENTION.

Every though you think is going to add to the manifestation of your desires or it will erase them. So here comes into a play a vital importance of keeping your mind on your goals and seeing them as already achieved and seeing yourself achieving them.

To the degree that others may call you DELUSIONAL.

To the degree they make fun of you and whisper behind your back.

To the degree that your own ego rises up and whispers “its not you” into you ear.

To the degree that it fills you with sadness and negativity to stop you.

What do you do then?

Just accept those feelings. Let them be there, do not resist.

Acknowledge them; let them go through you like a smoke.

Stick you’re your INTENTION. Sooner or later all negative stuff will be gone. But you will stay and see you goals becoming REALITY.

And see yourself becoming another person. The person you were INTENDED to become.

Because you can do it.

Because your IDENTITY IS FLUID.

Because you can change if you are really sick and tired of mediocre life.

Because you have a WILL.

Because it’s your CALLING.

And then you will see all those who were laughing and ridiculing you to become your fans and admirers. But it will not matter much to you anyway…

Keep going, the goal is worth it.

DJKC

Be a 10.

Did you notice this peculiar thing: after a while of going out you can approach quite comfortably. Quite comfortably means something different for everyone. One feels pretty confident and happy, while another person feel just a tiny bit less nauseous after a year or two.

Still, the process of desensitization goes on. It just has a different speed for every person.

Anyway, you feel quite ok opening and chatting up some girls. You also might notice that the less petty they are the more confident is your approach.

If you are going out every time with a certain goal in mind – lets say you want to use more touch (“kino”) during interactions – you notice that it goes very easy on girls you are NOT attracted to. It goes not that easy on girls you have some attraction towards.

And it becomes increasingly difficult to do that on girls you more or less like. And what makes things more difficult is that the ones you like will feel your hesitation and freak out. Uncertain touch feels really weird. Try it for yourself.

And when it comes to super hot girls – you freeze out. You probably do not even attempt to approach. If you get enough nerve to do that – conversation quickly dies out. She seems disinterested or her friends drag her away or whatever.

If you are going out and trying things for real – you know exactly what I mean.

You try to touch her – more times that not – she will give you a LOOK. So you will quickly stop trying. Sounds familiar?

Some guys start to create all kinds of excuses for them just not to go and not to approach. And this is fine if all they want is “to get at least someone to be with them”. I hear these confessions during my workshops and I think there are more guys who actually think it then are guys who are able to say that loud.

It takes a lot of courage to admit this to you. If you only wish is to get your skills up to that level to be able to get for yourself any girlfriend whatsoever and not to think about this again – well, I understand completely.

And we can teach you to do that in a very short period of time. Really.

But what if you are an ambitious student and you are also honest with yourself so you can clearly see the issue? Well, then sooner or later you will have face it.

So what to do here? How to overcome this one?

There are two ways which you can take. And note: one does in exclude another. In fact one is working on the issue itself and another one is going on a higher logical level (see my post on logical levels).

So the first and the most straightforward way will be to keep pushing yourself. You will slowly, step by step desensitize yourself.

You divide the whole issue in smaller chunks: start saying hello to all super hot chicks whenever you see them. Then start 30 seconds conversation, then build it up to 5 minutes, add flirt, etc. You get the picture.

It’s the same way you approach the practical aspect of the Game in general but here you apply it in isolation and one kind of girls. Those who are super hot for YOU.

Your general level of success in the Game is already higher but here you have to start all over again.

The second way requires more work but when it’s done you experience great results not only in your relationships with women but in ALL areas of your life. Let’s look at it closer.

What if I tell you that you are scared to approach beautiful super hot girls because of your relationship with yourself?

Answer this question to yourself HONESTLY:

Would you date YOURSELF? This question is CRUCIAL.

In fact this might be The First Most Important Question you can ask yourself in the Game.

If your answer is NO – then WHY should girls date you?

I mean this picture you have of yourself projects onto the world and you are getting exactly what you are projecting.

Ask yourself: why would you NOT go on a date with yourself?

Sit down and write it. Break it into different areas such as: style, humor, storytelling, body language, etc. Some areas are for sure ok and on some you will have to do some work. Go ahead and fix those areas.

If your answer to the first question is YES – then ask yourself:

How much do you actually love and accept YOURSELF?

This is The Second Most Important Question.

Are you too insecure and afraid to acknowledge that you are a complete and beautiful human being? May be you are afraid to acknowledge all those amazing parts of you? We all were taught that some parts of us are not that good or not that beautiful. That they are something to be ashamed of. Or may be you think that you did not deserve certain things?

Who did it to us? It was social programming first of all, then family, genes, whatever. But this is not an excuse. This is simply a fact. Accept that you have some limitations installed and then proceed to replace them.

What if I tell you that when you accept that immense inner beauty that you possess, when you realize how cool, unique, beautiful you actually are - then your whole inner world gradually changes.

You will notice that you feel much more confident and at ease talking to the hottest chicks and their reactions to you become more and more accepting, warm and positive.

What if I tell you that there is nothing to change in the outside world? It’s all inside us. Nothing changes but ourselves. Love yourself, realize what a good and complete man you are and communicate with everyone including the hottest girls with that in mind and see how warm and nice they will turn towards you. See how attracted they will be.

Once you really love and accept your own uniqueness and beauty as well as your own shamelessness about it - then this attitude, the REAL you - will shine through and your behaviors will reflect it.

Others will feel it. Not see, but FEEL.

You might stop wearing all the fancy cloths. It just does not matter any more.

People will open to you and they will stay with you. You have become a rare person. You are the beauty that knows its worth and is authentic and unapologetic and straightforward and loving and understanding. There are almost no such men around.

You will be an exception. More rare than diamond. And most women have radar for this kind of man.

But to achieve that inner change you have first to accept yourself entirely with all your imperfections and then start to working on changing those. You will have to start giving, sharing, shining. You see when I said love and accept yourself I did not mean to become an egoistic asshole proud of his misbehaviors and negative traits. What I mean is an inner transformation. Your confidence is based on self-acceptance and knowing that your ARE a good, loving, giving, shining, beautiful person. It’s all in you.

Keep going.

DJKC

The Matrix. Part 2. Ways Of Influence And The Way Out

Let’s take a good look at commercial effect of television.

The following paragraph is based on scientific research on media cultivation and gender relations by George Gerbner and Erwin Goffman.

Commercials and soap opera’s. Commercials portray an image of ideal situations for the average man. This is how a Man/Woman is supposed to be, that I want to be/have.

Those ideals are things people strive for. Compare it to “The American Dream”.

In commercials a woman is often displayed as sex-symbol, a seducer, submissive and a follower. A man is being portrayed as active, strong, social and with leadership capabilities.

Television series, soaps operas and sitcom are reality to the average consumer. A recognizable image sprung from reality.

In soaps it’s a trend to portray the following image; the man is weak and submissive, the woman is dominant knows everything better and is the strongest person in the household.

In the media reality and ideal are being presented as extreme opposites.

Because the media portray such a big gap between ideal and reality, it increases the strive for ideal in the average consumer.

This is where frustration comes into the frame.

The strive for the ideal is being increased by the extreme opposites of ideal and reality. Because of the portrayed distance between the two the ideal becomes unreachable which leads to frustration. (If only I was/had such a man/woman!)

This leads to the buying of advertised stuff that is supposed to counter these frustrations such as cosmetics, clothes and presents.

The role of commercials and soap operas thus creates the following situation:
Beautiful woman seem unreachable for the average man. And attractive men seem intangible. These frustrations lead to consumption for both men and woman.

Magazines are another good example of The Matrix at work.

Look at FHM or Playboy or Men’s Health. No word about how to REALLY interact with opposite sex. Like FHM you have those “blurbs”, loose pictures and phrases all over.

What do they do this way? Increase frustration by publishing pictures of very beautiful women. This makes men into dreamers instead of pro-active doers.


Men are lead to belief that sex is hard to get, beautiful women are not for them that in turn leads to them buying porn, visit prostitutes, etc. You get the idea.

All magazines publish ads full of beautiful women next to expensive cars, watches, jewelry. Men work their asses of, get promoted, buy sport cars, expensive watches, and come to the designated meeting place (club, bar) …AND STILL DO NOT GET LAID.

Then they decide that it was not the right car model or that may be a new house will improve his situation. He starts to beleive in "destiny" (another excuse for not being pro-active).

Oftentimes his wealth might attract to him a certain type of women known as “gold digger” that will later divorce him, take half of his money and leave him even more frustrated.

As a Worthy Playboy (thanks Johnny Soporno!) you know that IT DOES NOT MATTER.
LOOKS and MONEY JUST DO NOT MATTER. Period.

Your ability to successfully attract women is based on your ability to engage their emotions, have well-rounded, well developed personality and be able to unplug from the Matrix. That’s it.

Open Cosmo magazine and you will know exactly what I am talking about with regard to women. Smell like this – otherwise your Prince Charming will never notice you. Wear this bag/belt/dress – otherwise you will not FIT into what is considered to be beautiful from now on.


And you know in advance that next edition will just cancel this one and you will have to spend your money once again buying new outfit/ car/ jewelry/ whatever. You KNOW that it will happen but you JUST GO WITH A FLOW.

Women magazines create another side of the gap also by giving women precise advice how to successfully seduce a man, make him jealous or keep him interested.

The man portrayed in those magazines is very competent in passing all those “tests”. All other men thus are “losers” and should be rejected.

If you are going out for while and interacting with women a lot you probably know that feeling that sometimes comes up: you just can see she was waiting for some response from you. Some special response or special reaction. She is brainwashed by all those magazines and thinks that the “real” man should approach her “only like this”. Any other way of interaction she discards and labels like “looser” because they were not described in her favorite magazine(s).

Thus she is doomed to search for a perfect prince for extremely long time. Meanwhile she keeps buying all that stuff which is being promoted in those magazines so to keep her ready for that "ONE&SPECIAL" meeting.

So what actually happens is this: huge gap separates men and women. In this gap things are being sold to them under false promises. Expectations created but possibilities to reach them are taken away.

Ideal seem to bee TOO perfect and unreachable in real life FOR BOTH SEXES.

Very few people see it. And even less take an effort to break out of it.

Most people live in FEAR and die very UNSATISFIED because they did not fit WELL ENOUGH into that “perfect” consumer model.

How does the Matrix influence male behavior? Do you know why you doubt or slow down before approaching an attractive woman?

Did you ever hear your own inner voice saying “that is not possible”, "that’s not aloud" or "how am I going to look like if I do X"? You might not even hear them – they became fast thought loops that you don’t even have to really think.

They just shoot through your brain as an electricity spark and paralyse your will.

Learn to recognize them slow down your thinking when you look at an attractive woman; write your thoughts down exactly. You will quickly find those parasites.

You know somehow that going out and meeting people should happen in specially designated places. Bars, clubs, etc. There are many variations but you somehow know exactly that if you see a nice girl in the supermarket you will not walk up to her and start chatting. Someone got this idea into your head. Think hard now: Who? When?


You will not remember. Social programming has many forms and most of them are invisible.

I mean, nobody ever told you: Hey, cannibalism is bad, don’t eat your mates, right?
But there are enough jokes, stories and hints around in our society to get this idea very strongly into child’s head.

Overcoming insanity of social programming becomes a number one priority in your life, in your Game and your personal development. Again, your intuition and your heart will be the best compass on this journey.

Keep going.

DJKC
(2 writings of Dutch Seduction lair were used during creation of this article)